


The Way To A (Man's) Heart

by hansungchan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Blood and Violence, Dark, M/M, idk how to tag this without giving out spoilers lol, so sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansungchan/pseuds/hansungchan
Summary: The thing when it comes to surviving is: the chances are only either between 0 and 0.1.But it's okay. Jaemin is ready to risk it all for his boyfriend who only wanted something to eat.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	The Way To A (Man's) Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Read the endnote for additional tags unless you wanna go blindly into this.

“ _..._ _President of_ _America_ _promised to lend help and give aid to the infected countries._ _With this deadly virus still spreading throughout Asia,_ _all flights_ _are_ _currently_ _banned_ _to prevent the_ _possibility of_ _the disease_ _broadening and expanding through the Western and possibly the whole world._ _National and International_ _Military Teams_ _were doing their best_ _to protect the_ _remaining survivors_ _uninfected of the virus_ _,_ _all while_ _making sure to tighten_ _each_ _land._ _As of today, they rescued at least 3,000 citizens from_ _Busan and Jeju Island._ _On the other hand,_ _the_ _possible antidote_ _that could hopefully cure this deadly virus_ _is still_ _in_ _the_ _making_ _at the hands of our doctors and trusted experts._ _For now, beware_ _of the following_ _symptoms such as_ _irritation, mood swings,_ _excessive eating and drinking,_ _and headaches._ _Those mentioned_ _are most likely to be observed after a couple of days_ _when the virus is slowly_ _invading the victim’s system._ _It’ll be followed_ _by sudden_ _poor_ _eyesight_ _and shortness of breathing_ _despite_ _staying still._ _The most severe sym_ _ptom and the final mark_ _before the virus takes over the_ _victim’s senses are_ _animalistic growlings, the_ _bones and joints breaking, and_ _salivating. W_ _hile the_ _final stage_ _before they turn is_ _the_ _sudden stop of_ _their heartbeat._ _In this time of the crisis it is important_ _we_ _had the_ _knowledge of how to survive_ _and avoid this deadly disease._ _Based on the experts the virus will_ _only be passed if an infected_ _manage to transfer their_ _fluid of_ _salivary glands_ _to the victim_ _whether it be through biting-”_

The voice of the woman reporting on the radio was shut off, replaced by complete silence. _Thank God._ Jaemin was just about to lose his shit hearing the same old news that never gets better at all. The only purpose of that passage is to give false hope to the people. Day by day, they say the same thing, only changing and adding a few, paraphrasing the whole statement to make it sound more positive than negative. Jaemin has heard it a lot of times since the whole fiasco started that he already memorized the poor excuse of a tip that the reporter was saying.

One of them, he recalled, is to wait patiently and never leave the confines of your home.

‘ _Bullshit,’_ Jaemin thought. That’s the last thing the Korean will do. He’d rather die outside than let him and Renjun starve inside their apartment waiting for the help that is impossible to come.

There’s no one to help them, that is the reality of their situation. It’s either go outside and die trying to survive or wait inside and die in hunger and thirst. All the options involved dying anyways so what’s there to lose?

Jaemin wore a beanie and gloves, his usual thick padded coat, and his light sneakers. Then his mask that covers his mouth and his nose. He headed for his cabinet full of different weapons to fight with the creatures that are inevitably waiting outside. Today, Jaemin decided for his favorite ax and a few handmade bombs he crafted himself. He carefully placed them all in the pockets of his knapsack. After securing the strap of his bag around his waist, he is all set to hunt.

He overlooked the deserted city through his veranda. The weather is scorching hot and the sun is too high right now that Jaemin will surely sweat under his thick covers. But that’s exactly what he needs. To produce these bodily liquids to lose the enemy on track. One thing Jaemin learned for the past five months was all these _undead have_ very heightened senses. They can track down the scent of meat and fresh blood, can smell their prey- from far away. The last thing Jaemin needs is to be injured outside or to even let his breath permeate through the air. Sweats are a good distraction and concealer to hide his natural odor.

The streets are empty. The infected doesn’t like the sun so much. Nor the heat. Everything about them is sensitive. Their hearing, sense of touch, sense of smell, and even the sense of their taste. The only thing not working is their sense of sight, for some reason. They lose the ability to see thus the poor eyesight being one of the symptoms before the virus eats your entire system and brain. The infected, in particular, likes to stay in cold and dark places.

So there really is no better time to haunt than in the afternoon. Where these creatures are at its hibernating phase and hiding.

Jaemin gulped the last bit of water from his bottle. The same water he had been saving for himself to last through the entire week. Before he needs to haunt again. And that day is today.

They are out of supplies. The only food he consumed since yesterday is an energy bar and then his water. Plus the vitamins he stole from the nearby drugstore last last week. Jaemin is confident he could last for another two days with just water and the same energy bar but Renjun is a completely different story. Renjun is _starving_. And he would not sit and watch as his boyfriend suffers in hunger.

Just last night Renjun is groaning, all weak because of the food that never came. Jaemin decided he shall put an end to his lover’s suffering. He promised to himself he’ll bring back Renjun’s strength later.

Before leaving, Jaemin opened the room where Renjun is currently resting. He’s still in the bed, eyes closed. Jaemin went to him so he could adjust his position on the mattress, putting back his feet that is dangling on the edge. He threw away the covers, knowing full well they make Renjun uncomfortable. The action causes Renjun to stir a bit, knees curling as he opened his eyes.

Jaemin flashed him a soft smile, patting his lover’s head all too lovingly. “Are you tired? Go on, just sleep and rest, hmm? I’ll be out for a little bit. Nana promised you’ll get to eat tonight.”

The man chuckled at the small hiss he received from his lover. Renjun has always been a brat, a stubborn one. But it’s okay, Jaemin loved him because of his strong personality. It’s one thing he found charming regarding the older boy.

“I love you, Renjunnie. Go to sleep, little one. I’ll be back with a meal later on.”

***

The world outside their apartment complex is nothing but a battleground for Jaemin. Just stepping outside of their home is already a risk. Jaemin never let his guard down, stance ready to fight any moment as he made his way through the silent halls. His footsteps light and relaxed, a skill he had mastered since the virus started. Every step he took, the farther he distanced himself from Renjun and their home, Jaemin held his breath. The only thing in his mind is to finish his mission and come back as soon as possible in Renjun’s arms.

There is a small convenience store downtown, a few blocks and streets away. Jaemin cannot risk using a car so he had to walk under the strong weather. His confidence to stroll in the middle of broad daylight doesn’t come out of nowhere. He wouldn’t last this long if not for his keen eyes and good observation skills. Jaemin knows the undead’s weaknesses and strengths, their minimal capabilities that society failed to spot. One of those weaknesses is the sunlight. Their skin, like a truly dead man, would slowly decay and melt if put under the intense heat. Or anything hot, in particular. So unless these creatures want to be a melted zombie, they wouldn’t dare attack Jaemin at this time of the day.

Jaemin pulled out the ax from his strap, gripping the object. Slowly and cautiously, he drew nearer to the convenience store. The possibility that one or maybe a few of the undead are camping inside is likely, taking refuge under the abandoned store’s roof. If that’s the case Jaemin would have no other choice but to cut some heads.

With soundless steps, he entered through the broken glass door, mindful not to make any noise. Inside the abandoned place, he wandered through the aisles with a full-on measure. Attentive and watchful for any signs of threat. In the last section, sleeping a woman. Skin dirty, pale, and bloody. Her frizzy hair sticking through her forehead while her dried and bloodied lips are partly opened- revealing a set of yellowish teeth that is decayed by the rusty red color of patched blood.

This one is sleeping, in a position against the broken fridge that is too unbearable and painful for Jaemin to look at. As far as Jaemin knows she is the only one occupying this store to hide in the harsh daylight. Should be an easy target.

Before it could even let out a shrill cry for help, Jaemin already had the blade of his ax splitting the undead’s throat. He closed his eyes as drizzles of blood of the now-dead undead touched his forehead and eyelashes.

Jaemin would have to wash his face later.

Moving on, it’s time to restock food and drink supplies. He made sure to haul as many cup noodles as he can, along with ready to eat canned foods and a few snacks. Jaemin also sneaks inside the store’s storage room where all the other supplies are. Especially the water. There are two undead splayed out on the floor when he came in. Jaemin lurks in behind the two and performed another clean and soundless kill as he plunged his ax at their throat and head. Then he grabbed a few bottles of water that will hopefully last for two weeks before quietly running off from the scene.

Before leaving, he did not forget the materials for hygiene. Especially now that Renjun needs those things the most. His baby is always a clean freak. So Jaemin picked a few pieces of cotton and tissues, alcohol, soap, and a toothbrush. After calculating everything and convinced he already had enough, Jaemin left the place.

The outside is still empty. It is highly improbable he met someone on his way. As far as he knows, their city and neighborhood are the most affected of the disease. Jaemin is one of the rare ones to survive up ‘til now. He rarely encountered anyone on his way. The last time he did was three weeks ago. And yet, that person had also met his end. Not like Jaemin needs an additional company. They would be more of a burden really than a companion. He’d rather have a team with only him and Renjun in it.

But today appears to be a different day for Jaemin. Inside another worn-out place, one that he remembers was used to be a boutique shop with really lovely gowns as their display (now said gowns are either ripped in the most frustrating way or covered with blood), is a young boy helplessly crawling at the exit while a flock of the infected hold him by the legs.

Despite the distance, Jaemin heard his cries for help.

So he did what he needs to do. He ran to the boy’s aid and straight out kicked one of the undead in the face. It staggered, losing focus as he snarled while blood coated saliva stream down his chin in the most nauseating way. Its comrades turned their heads at the source of the noise, ears perked as if waiting for the next sound to come before they decided _where_ to attack. On the other hand, it gave the teenager a chance to pull out from their grasp, quickly running to Jaemin’s side.

One of the undead, who wore a tattered suit blemished with blood and spit, attempted to attack first. Snapping his secreting teeth and snarling in the most inhumane way. Before it could take another step closer, Jaemin split his face literally in half with his ax.

The other undead began to act in their monstrous instinct, which Jaemin isn’t sure if an advantage or a disadvantage on their case. One thing he knows is that he alone cannot fight the remaining 10 of these creatures. Not with his single ax and a coward and trembling teenager clinging to him behind.

Jaemin raised his weapon, about to kill his fourth target when it surprisingly managed to block his attack. By gripping the ax’s handle and forcefully pulling the object from his hand. With another one of them closing in, Jaemin lost focus as he punched the other to its already damaged face. However, it gave the first undead the opportunity to steal the weapon from his palm, before pushing Jaemin to the floor.

Now with six of them staggering in their unbalanced steps towards them, Jaemin had no other choice but to shout at the other male while pointing at the exit. “RUN!”

It was the only way they could escape these monsters. Under the safety of the sun. Jaemin couldn’t afford to die here in the hands of these creatures. Renjun is waiting for him in their home. Renjun is expecting him to come back with his dinner. And now that Jaemin has it, he just needs to make it home alive.

He plucked out two bombs in his knapsack’s pocket, then he threw them at the raging creatures. They stopped for a while, heads following the sound of Jaemin’s bombs hitting the floor. As soon as it does, the timer started counting in its 30 seconds countdown.

Jaemin jumped out of the store and pulled the young boy away for as far as they can manage between those 30 seconds. An eruption pervaded the area. Jaemin and the nameless boy had to duck and cover their ears. They felt the vibration caused by the explosion in the place.

Once it died down, Jaemin slowly turned his head to the direction of the boutique shop. The shop that Renjun and he used to pass by on the past, the same one with the displays Renjun would often stare at out of amazement at the designs, the place where Renjun bought his tuxedo for their first-ever prom together.

It is now burning in fire.

***

“You okay?”

Maybe it’s a stupid thing to ask given the obvious situation they’re in. But Jaemin still had to make sure those infected didn’t get to pass their virus to this kid. Else it’ll be a pity because he’d have to kill him right now.

“I’m o...kay. Lemme just... breath... for... a while...”

Jaemin lets him. As the kid took his time filling his lungs with fresh air, he had sighed to the loss of his one important weapon. He failed to retrieve his ax and now Jaemin is pretty sure it’s burning alongside the ashes of those undead inside the shop. It’s a pity, really. Jaemin likes that one so much.

‘ _Oh well, just one_ _loss_ _among the many spares I had.’_ The situation’s only a hassle because he has gotten used to the ax’s weight within his palms. Now he’d have to get used to another one.

He set on his own feet again, looking down at the kid who is still in a crouching position. Based on his overall look, he has been fighting for a little while there before Jaemin came. His shirt is soaked in sweat, and he had a few scratches and bruises over his face and arms. Though there is no sign of a bite mark so Jaemin sighed in relief at that.

“You good to go now? We have to keep moving kid. The sun’s about to set and we still had a few minutes to walk,” Jaemin said sternly.

The other nodded weakly, standing up rather clumsily. He would’ve fallen on his ass if not for Jaemin who put a firm hold on his wrist.

“Wait- where are we going?” the younger asked as they started to walk, Jaemin leading the way.

“Home,” is Jaemin’s one-word reply.

“Home?” the kid repeated like the word is too foreign for his own tongue.

“Yeah. I live in an apartment complex around here. My boyfriend and I stay there.”

“Woah. I didn’t know that. I was so scared I thought I was the only one left alive after my parents, too, were infected.”

If it was before, Jaemin, no doubt, will feel pity for the younger male. He would’ve tried to console him with a hug and encouraging words, all those things the old him would do. Now months later, that affectionate Jaemin was nothing but a stranger from a distant memory. He doesn’t even know him anymore.

So he didn’t say anything. Didn’t comment on the obvious sadness lingering on the younger’s tone as he spoke nonstop of his tragic life story. He isn’t the first person to do so. And his story is definitely not the first he heard among the past months. It’s only fair to say he’s not the only one suffering. All of them are. But Jaemin kept his mouth shut lest he wants to scare the boy away.

Through the next 10 minutes, he learned that the kid’s name is Park Jisung. Their family moved here from the province a year ago. Typical people who exchanged their stable life in the province for the promise of an awaiting opportunity in the city. Now just look where that got them. In comparison to the country’s provincial areas, the city is the most affected of the virus. Thus, the once city of dreams is now the town of the dead.

Jisung is also five years younger than Jaemin. He goes to the same high school he and Renjun graduated. His parents died when the infected invade and trespassed on their hideout along with many other survivors. Jisung is the only one to survive, running away while his parents are being feasted on by the monstrous creatures. According to Jisung himself, he’s been roaming around the streets, living in fear every night with the possibility of being found out by one of the infected.

The boutique shop is a good refuge. But he’s always known it is only for a temporary. He’s already lucky enough to last there for five days. Until, of course, one of the infected found him this afternoon.

“How about you, hyung? What are you doing outside? You were so cool back there, with your bombs and all,” Jisung chimes in like an innocent little child. Which is probably the way he is.

“I had to go out to get food for my boyfriend. He hasn’t eaten for a while.”

“Oooh.” By the mention of food, Jisung’s stomach had instantly rumbled.

Jaemin raised him an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you hadn’t eaten anything, kid?”

Jisung scratched his nape and flashed a sheepish smile towards Jaemin.

“Jesus, when is the last time you ate?”

“Ah, if you mean proper food, that would be a week ago. But I did get to eat a snack bar and a jar of Nutella yesterday!”

“And today?”

“I was about to go look for food but then those zombies want me to be their meal instead. And then the rest is history.” Jisung pouts, patting his tummy.

Jaemin released a small _Tsk_ before stopping in front of an apartment complex building. He motioned for Jisung to follow him.

“Hyung, is this where you live?” Jisung ran behind the older, with heavy and uncoordinated footsteps that frustrates Jaemin a lot. No wonder those infected can sense him even from miles away. The kid doesn’t know how to be quiet.

“Can you tone your voice down and just walk slowly, do not run like that. Always be mindful of your surroundings. Those creatures could be anywhere. You need to be careful with your movements,” he scolded in a hushed tone.

“Right. Sorry, hyung.” At any rate, Jisung’s movement is still klutzy but his efforts to reduce it is enough for now. Jaemin himself had taken a lot of near-death experiences before he finally mastered how to move graciously and soundless.

“Be careful of the booby traps and electrical wires. Look where you’re going. Just follow my direction,” Jaemin warned when faced with the entrance.

Being the crafty electrical engineering graduate that he is, Jaemin is very clever and well versed in how to manipulate the electrical wires and different machinery, even the technology, for his own benefit. So it’s not so surprising that he used his knowledge on these things to shield their home from the creatures threatening to gatecrash. He managed to activate an alarm signal and prepare an awaiting net trap that is for sure to caught and electrify anyone who’ll ever dare to set foot in without the knowledge of it.

It has kept their place safe for the past months now, but Jaemin is still thinking of adding more security just in case.

Jisung had followed his steps, ducking a few times with tentative measures over the scattered wires on the ground. Once they had successfully passed through, as the child that he is, Jisung is very expressive of his amazement regarding Jaemin’s works.

“Whoa hyung, that was so cool! You did all that by yourself?! You’re like a genius at setting traps like that main character in _Home_ _Alone_!”

Jaemin isn’t sure whether to be amused by how this kid just compared him and their dreadful situation to a family comedy movie. He flashed a smile anyway, thinking he had been too serious the entire time. He needs to give the kid a break too.

“Yeah well, my boyfriend is the one who thought and planned it all. Though I did all the manwork. He’s the head behind this.”

“I see. Your boyfriend must be a genius then,” Jisung commented.

The compliment broke a soft smile on Jaemin’s face. “He was.”

They take the stairs to the last floor. Where another set of electrical wires and barricades blocks the path. Jaemin had pulled out a remote-like device but looks like a telephone at the same time from his pockets. It deactivated the power giving them a path without risking of becoming a toasted meat.

Jaemin entered the password combination, and the steel door opens. He gave way to Jisung who is just so happy to finally be under a roof again, merrily making his way inside the apartment.

The younger looks around, finding interest in observing the place. Jaemin lets him be, busying himself to put away his stock of food and water in their kitchen. Though he glances at Jisung from time to time, only to see him bouncing over their soft couch.

“Jisung-ah, what do you wanna eat? I have ramen here and tuna,” Jaemin yelled from the kitchen.

“I’ll have tuna, hyung.”

Jaemin prepared the younger’s request. Two tunas for both of them. He put one cup of already cooked rice for each of them then he mixed the oil and the tuna to the rice. After preparing the table, he called for his guest.

“Sorry, it’s the only thing I could afford to give you. I couldn’t bring much on my way,” Jaemin apologized while mixing his rice.

Jisung already had a mouthful of the food when he mumbled a response to him. “Itsh owkay, hyung. Maybwe next time you gow out I could help you carry some food.”

He simply shot Jisung a small smile. The latter might be clumsy and careless but he’s genuine with his intention. It makes Jaemin’s heart clench a little at his unfortunate fate. Just a little.

They continued eating in silence. Both too hungry and too clueless to open up a new topic. When Jisung finished his bowl and his water, a long drawn out burp followed after. A sign that his empty stomach is now filled again with real food and not the same energy bar and Nutella he has to depend on the previous days. No matter how delicious those two are, they don’t really ease a man’s hunger.

“By the way, hyung, where is your boyfriend?” Jisung mentioned out of nowhere.

“Oh. Renjunnie is sleeping. He likes to sleep a lot in the afternoon. He’ll be awake for his dinner later.”

The other nodded in understanding. “Aah. I can’t wait to meet him and thank him too for accepting me in your place.”

Well, Renjun hasn’t actually met Jisung yet. But Jaemin could just imagine the smile his boyfriend would throw the younger. His lover had always been on to helping the helpless. It’s one of his many attributes that Jaemin personally likes but distresses at the same time. He will not hesitate to lend a helping hand, to jump in danger and sacrifice himself to save the others. Especially Jaemin. His boyfriend is just... kindhearted like that.

So he just knew Renjun would have adopted Jisung if he were, in different circumstances, the one to find him and not Jaemin. Jaemin knew Renjun would have agreed, without a second thought, to make their home a shelter for someone like the kid.

Jaemin manages to cut himself out of his stupor and gave a reply to the awaiting Jisung. “Ah, of course. You’ll meet him soon.”

When Jisung stands up, Jaemin heeded him with his eyes. Seems like, he is after the shelf near the kitchen doorway where a picture frame of he and Renjun from their college days stands. The younger raised it into eye level, then he shows it to Jaemin. Finger pointing over the face of a bright and smiling Renjun on his side.

“Is this Renjun hyung?”

Jaemin took a while to answer. When he did, his voice came out as a whisper, nearly unheard. “Yes, that’s him.”

“Whoa, he looks so small in this picture. Or is it just because you’re taller, hyung?”

He snorts at that. “Don’t let him hear you say that. Else, you wanna end up dead.”

Jisung laughed. “He’s pretty. Looks like a fun hyung too! Perhaps even funnier than you.”

‘ _Yeah,’_ Jaemin thought. Renjun is definitely much funnier than he is. Jaemin is a friendly person, but Renjun is a social butterfly. Despite Jaemin always smiling brightly to everyone, it is actually Renjun who had a brighter and more jolly personality than he. Renjun gets along with everyone. Fun to be with with his out of the world jokes that are more embarrassing than funny really. But that is one of his charms. It’s one of the aspects that makes Renjun unique and loved by a lot of people and their friends.

“You guys are very lucky to have each other. At least you can get through all these and never leave each other’s side. Unlike me, who is now completely alone. Without my parents and friends, I have no reason to survive. No one to stay by my side.”

Jaemin wanted to open his mouth and say he shouldn’t give up. He wanted so bad to tell him that he’s not the only one who feels that way. That the hope is just around the corner and so is help. That a brighter future is waiting ahead of someone as young as him.

But he opts to swallow it all down at the pit of his stomach. No, he ain’t lying to the kid.

“You should take a rest, I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll clean up,” is what Jaemin resorted to saying.

“Thanks, hyung. I could really use a nap right now. I’ll sleep on the couch if that’s okay.”

Jaemin nodded his head in a silent yes.

***

Jaemin is shredding a few electrical wires when Jisung woke up after his long nap. According to the sliding transparent doors that lead to the verandah, it’s already dark outside. When he asked the older about the time, Jaemin said it is six in the evening. The setting sun disappearing onto the skyline.

It also only means one thing...

As if reading his mind, Jaemin nodded and confirmed in a silent voice, “Yeah, they’re coming again.”

There is a second long where Jisung’s heartbeat skipped a rhythm. Fear and shiver running on his spine and throughout his whole body that froze in tense. The previous days, whenever the sun sets, he is almost always sure that day will be his last. Before one of those zombie infected get to him and have a boodle fight over his dead body. Worst case scenario, he would also turn to be like them. Undead, and hungry for the flesh. The thought of it makes Jisung sweat. He needs to remind himself that tonight he is safe. Those creatures couldn’t get to him in this place. And for the first time, he is not alone again.

Jaemin observed the younger male, noticed with his keen eyes how he hugged his knees and sunk to the couch like a scared little boy. Putting down his things, he headed to the kitchen to check for the cheesy ramen he left to boil on the pan.

Just the smell of the delicious meal wafting through the air is enough to awaken the hunger in Jisung’s stomach. From the couch he watched as Jaemin turned off his electrical stove, placing the pot of cheesy ramen on the table. As the older pick up two plates and chopsticks, Jisung came to help. But given that the taller already had everything prepared, there really is not much the younger could do but stand awkwardly and stare at his hyung.

When Jaemin poured on the cheesy sauce on top of the boiling ramen, Jisung can’t help but ask, “Did you like cheese, hyung?”

Jaemin shakes his head, eyes emotionless. “Not really. But Renjun does. He loves this flavor so much.”

“Well, it does look delicious.” Jisung licks his lips in anticipation.

Jaemin’s eyes linger to him for one long minute after he stuffed the empty sachet of cheese sauce on the table. “Wanna go wake up Renjun? He hasn’t eaten anything yet and I’m sure he’s starving.”

“Oh, okay.” Jisung agreed in enthusiasm, nodding his head with his gummy smile that Jaemin would definitely found adorable if not for their current situation. “I’m excited to meet Renjun hyung, too.”

Jaemin walk passed Jisung, grabbing a set of keys from the shelf. The younger followed curiously behind. He finds it strange that Jaemin had to lock Renjun’s room, if that is all the key is for. But then again, it might be not.

However, Jaemin stopped in front of a door. The apartment has two rooms, both across each other. The one on the left is where Jaemin slid the key on a huge metal padlock. Now, that definitely is strange. But Jisung had no chance to ask when Jaemin pushed him slightly inside the now opened room.

Jaemin turned on the switch, lighting the pitch-black room. Yeah, the room is anything but weird at first sight. It’s pretty normal in fact. There are two framed paintings hanging on each wall, the tiles and floors are all clean, and the ventilation inside is pretty good. There is one window but it is covered by the blinds which makes it dark. Though Jisung had to hug himself because it seems like the room’s ventilation is suddenly too much for his liking. The air is freezing cold. It’s like Jaemin had the AC at its triple maximum level.

There are so many weird things going on that Jisung _should have_ noticed but being the naive kid he was, and given the timing, he had no chance to think it all through. If he had, he would have run by now.

“Hyung-”

“Ssshh.” Jaemin’s lips are now stretched into an eerie smile while placing a finger on his mouth. “Be quiet. You’ll wake him up. I want to be the one to do it.”

Before Jisung could clap back with a response, Jaemin already pulled out a small controller on his hand. He pressed one of the buttons and Jisung was horrified to hear the deep howl of someone who sounds like they were in so much torment. Jisung turned to the direction of the sound and found himself staring at the bed in the corner, where a boy, no- one of those _monsters_ , arched flexibly, half pulling up and bending his waist on the mattress. He had a collar tightly clamped on his neck, and his purplish and veiny hands were gripping hard on the metal.

The undead howled so hard, growling and hissing in unbelievable pain.

Once it recovered, it jumped on the other side of the bed, growling and teeth snapping roughly it clashes with one another. It leaps, obviously aiming for the both of them, Jisung took a step backward. For a split second, its hand is so close, so near it could snatch Jisung away and sink its fingers on the boy’s skin. But then its limbs are also chained, so are its wrists. The sound of metal clinking with every rough tug the creature did in a poor attempt to escape from his chains and eat them alive.

Jisung is more horrified when Jaemin inched closer to the hissing infected. He had a soft smile on his face and a loving gaze. A very powerful contrast to the undead’s hateful glare and frown.

“Now now, Renjunnie, don’t fight it too much. You’re already so weak,” Jaemin shakes his head over his boyfriend.

“R-Renjun? T-That is Renjun hyung?” Jisung wants to cry, but at the same time, he is also struggling to form a coherent thought in his head over the fucked up situation he set himself in.

Jaemin completely ignores him, too busy gawking at his infected boyfriend. “Injun-ah, this is Jisung. He’s a few years younger than us. I know he’s quite thin, but he’ll do, right?”

The longer Jisung stares at the beast in front of him, the more he saw its resemblance from the boy whom he first thought as very pretty on the picture frame. Its eyes, though hollow and rich in white, still had the same brownish orbs from the boy in the picture. Unlike its other kind who are walking around the streets, waiting for their prey, this one is far cleaner and much tolerable to look at. Not that he’s still any better because he only differs in appearance. All a part of Jaemin’s hard work, he guesses. His green-purplish and veiny skin look much presentable than the cracked, rotten, and blistering skin of the others.

It growls right in front of Jaemin’s face, his eyes raging and veins more prominent as he tried to put a hand on his once lover. But one push in the controller on Jaemin’s hand and it fell down to the floor, its chain crashing to the tiles as it crouched and cried in pain. Electric shocks controlling its entire body.

“I told you not to do that to me, Renjun. I am your boyfriend!” Jaemin said in exasperation. Then he kneels down just in front of the still hissing creature. “I don’t want to hurt you. But you need to learn how to behave.”

As Jaemin wastes his time talking to his lover who can’t possibly understand his words anymore, Jisung took that as an opportunity to bolt out of the room. One more step out of here and it’s still too early to celebrate when Jaemin pulled the younger back by the shoulder. Jisung almost staggered if not for Jaemin’s firm grip. The older had the strength, he effortlessly manhandled Jisung who attempts to wriggle out of his hold. Or maybe Jisung’s energy is just as weak as his thin, fragile body.

“Please, no,” Jisung was crying, pleading through his glassy eyes. But it took no effect on Jaemin who kept his hard and unyielding expression.

“Hyung, don’t do this to me, please! I don’t want to die!” Jisung pleaded through his wrinkled shirt and in between sobs.

For a fracture of a second, he thought he saw Jaemin’s eyes softening, flashing a quick sympathy in those cold gazes of his. Before it returned back to its normal, apathetic state. “We all die at one point, Jisung. Do you really believe you have a chance of surviving outside?”

Jisung threw his head back, tears covering his vision. Truth is, he’s so tired. He’s still so young to be experiencing all this, and he really has nothing to lose anymore, hasn’t he? At least he gets to take a nap, the longest and the closest he had to peaceful since his parents' death. At least he got to eat the tuna he once hates so much, along with rice, and drenched his dry throat with clean water. Looking at the situation, it’s much better to die here than outside. He had always been the coward, immature, high school student who knows nothing but to play video games in his room. This kind of situation where the strongest and wisest had a better chance of surviving doesn’t fit someone like him.

But Jisung doesn’t want to die either. In his probably still immature mind, he still wanna finish college. Still wanna play video games on Friday nights. Still wanna eat his favorite tteokbokki and drink alcohol when he became an adult. There’s still a lot to do and that part of him tries its best to be positive and survive his way through the days. It’s why he kept on living. Why he kept on trying despite having nothing.

“Don’t fight it, Jisung-ah. This is your fate. This is _our_ fate. I promise you you won’t turn. You won’t be like any of those monsters who killed your parents. It will only last for a few minutes- the pain, I mean. Before you know it, Renjun will be finished. And you’ll be at peace,” Jaemin whispered to his ears.

Jisung closed his eyes, shaking his head. “No, I don’t want to! No!”

He elbowed Jaemin on the stomach, earning him a groan of pain from the other. He took that distraction as a chance to ran away. But then Jaemin grabbed his legs, Jisung fell on his chest. Jaemin pulled him by the limbs, stepping on his ankle that caused Jisung to almost lose air because of the pang. Jisung flipped to his back and slapped away Jaemin with all he can. Jaemin dodged it all with an arm as he hovers on top of the younger.

‘ _He’s_ _fighting so well,’_ Jaemin thought. His determination to live is quite impressive. Just when he thought he’s like the last kid he brought here. Jaemin recalls his name- Chenle. Like Jisung, he also lost his family to this deadly virus. Unlike Jisung, Chenle doesn’t fight it and peacefully accepted his demise.

From the back of his ear, he heard Renjun whining and growling in hunger. He cannot let this continue any longer. He’s done playing games and keeping up with this troublesome boy. His boyfriend hasn’t fed in weeks. And Jaemin cannot endure one more night hearing Renjun suffer in pain and starvation. His boyfriend is hungry, and he needs to eat. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he lets his other half wait any further?

So while still trying to hold back Jisung’s wrist, Jaemin pulled out a pocket knife from his back. With it, he stabbed Jisung’s wrist and chest. The younger’s blood squelching and tainting Jaemin’s porcelain skin, while the smell itself caused his sweet lover to lose his head into the calling of his instincts.

Renjun thrashed, lips wet with saliva and eyes wide open. The veins on his neck are swelling in excitement over the potential human dinner. He is snarling, producing low guttural noise that indicates his hostility. Yanking his wrists and ankles from the chain in hopes to get a step closer to the bleeding Jisung.

Jaemin pulled back his hair, rich white teeth flashing at Jisung as he did not just stab the latter with a knife. “Sorry, kid. I promised my boyfriend a delicious dinner. And he’s _very_ hungry.”

The last thing Jisung felt is his body sliding through the cold floor, and then there’s a low growl in his ear. The sound of the door locking, his muffled cries.

And the sharp bite on his shoulder.

***

By the time the screaming stopped, the noodles had already gone cold. Jaemin carefully picked out his metal chopsticks and slurp a huge portion of his food. He smiles at the taste.

“Delicious, right?” he asked, looking at the empty chair in front of him. Where an extra serving of the cheesy ramen filled the white bowl. Like Jaemin’s, a glass of water is neatly placed beside the food in front of the unoccupied seat.

Inside the human’s deluded mind, there is Renjun with his mouth full, messily eating the meal like he always does. He is alright, smiling and eyes twinkling in the brightest gleam like how Jaemin often sees them in his dreams. Renjun would lift the bowl to his mouth and slurps its soup in a loud, irritating but adorable way- all for Jaemin’s ears to hear. Then he will lick his lips and show Jaemin his now empty bowl with a proud grin.

“ _Aish, you’re too slow to eat Jaemin-ah._ _I beat you again. Bleh!”_

Jaemin laughed, shoulders trembling, at his lover’s childish act. And though he kept his mouth busy trying to swallow the weight of noodles atop his tongue, his eyes didn’t once leave Renjun while he watched him press his back lazily to the chair and rub his full and contented stomach.

“ _What? What are you looking at?”_

Jaemin shakes his head, grinning. “Why? Is it too wrong to stare at my love?”

Renjun’s face frowned in fake disgust, but the light illuminating his red cheeks showed the slight twitching of his lips. _“_ _Yah shut up, and just finish your food, will you? My favorite k-drama will start in 15 minutes! Hurry up!”_

Jaemin blinks when Renjun’s image started to blurry. And then he felt a drop of liquid rolling down his cheeks. When he looked back at the same seat again, his vision is clearer. But Renjun is gone.

His eyes fell at the untouched noodles and water on the table. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Jaemin focused back on to finishing his own food. The cheesy ramen that Renjun loves so much- since when did it taste this bitter?

Perhaps it’s the liquid coming from his eyes that makes it so. But Jaemin had a hint it’s not just that.

For the past months, he realized, there is no such thing as a good and delicious meal. The secret ingredient for all those past meals he had, the reason why all these foods taste extra delicious in Jaemin’s mouth, was because he’s sharing them with Renjun. Any food is tolerable, as long as it is eaten with the other.

But who was he kidding really? Renjun is eating too.

Just not the noodles he used to like so much. Nor do they share the same table anymore. The important thing is they still eat together. Doesn’t matter if Renjun had a _change_ in his food preferences. Or if he’s locked in the other room instead. It’s okay. As long as he’s with Jaemin, and he eats to his heart’s desire, Jaemin is more than happy to live with that.

After washing the dishes and cleaning the table, Jaemin finally decided to check up on his lover. He easily slipped the key on the padlock and it immediately opened.

The smell of iron and something foul easily fills his nose the moment he steps inside. But Jaemin has gotten used to the stench that it doesn’t bother him that much, unlike the first time. Blood splattered on the ground, dirtying even the clean walls and the sides of Renjun’s paintings. Jaemin sighed as he knew the room will need a serious cleaning again after that.

On the side, at the foot of the bed, is Renjun. In front of him is Jisung’s dead body. Or at least, what was left of it. Renjun had the boy’s torn limb on his hold, munching on the flesh like it was a piece of a chicken leg. He seethed and snarled when he heard Jaemin walking. His clothes are now in a tone of crimson, human meat, and fresh blood filling his mouth and coating half of his face.

He tore another chunk out of Jisung’s thighs and Jaemin had to swallow his own tears upon seeing the beast that his once sweet lover became.

Carefully, he approached Renjun, sitting in a safe distance. He nods his head, smiling through his own anguish.

“Did you eat well? Is it good, Renjun-ah?” Jaemin’s voice cracks in the middle. The tears he’s been trying so hard to keep now finally bursting into an endless river.

Obviously, he didn’t receive a reply. Renjun being too busy finishing his meal after two long weeks. Jaemin understands.

“It’s okay, Renjunnie. Just eat well, hmm? I love you so much. I’m sorry.”

When Jaemin sobs, Renjun looks up. No matter how much he changed, Jaemin can always recognize those once warm eyes of a person. He would never get tired of looking into them. For it is the only thing that reminds him that Renjun is still here. With him.

However lately, it’s been so hard to look at them. At those cold and ruthless eyes of a monster that Renjun doesn’t wish to be. Whenever they pierce through Jaemin, the latter would be reminded of the promise he had broke.

“ _J-Jaemin-ah._ _Promise me one thing._ _Kill me_ _after this._ _I... I can’t live like one of them._ _I- I can’t._ _That is not what I wish to be.”_

“ _You’re not dying, stop saying that._ _You’re not dying. Stay with me,_ _please?”_

“ _I once had a nightmare._ _In my dreams,_ _there was a fire._ _It’s pulling me, consuming me, before I burn completely._ _I need you to do one last thing for me, Jaemin.”_

 _Jaemin shakes his head._ _Oh, why is_ _the truth so hard to accept?_

 _But Renjun forced a smile out of his_ _pale lips. “_ _Burn me._ _As soon as my heartbeat stopped, burn my body._ _It’s the only way._ _I’m so scared._ _But_ _I’m more afraid of_ _becoming_ _a monster._ _Just kill me._ _Do it for me._ _Kill me, and run._ _Find refuge, live._ _Survive._ _Don’t mourn me yet, you have no time_ _for_ _that._ _Think of your future._ _And once everything is okay,_ _then you can cry for me._ _But until then,_ _don’t look back._ _And forget me for the meantime.”_

Renjun has always been Jaemin’s life. So he can never understand how possible it is to do that. Because even if there is a magical spell that could make him forget of all the ache and pain Huang Renjun brought him, he still would not take it.

In this dying world, Huang Renjun is the best thing that ever happened in Jaemin’s life. Monster or not, he will love him. Call him selfish and crazy, but he could tell you that in his mind he had spoken countless apologies for Renjun and all the people he sacrificed for his hopeless love.

Jaemin will not stop. Not as long as he can be with Renjun. Not until he’s breathing. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t hurt though. Deep inside Jaemin knew, he’s the one who created the monster out of his lover.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: cannibalism, gore, usage of bombs, and character death
> 
> Don't hate on me too much. I tried my best lol.
> 
> \- sungchan
> 
> P.S: I love Jisung, ok


End file.
